Hello, my name is Barry and I'm an addict

The past year has been kind of stressful for a number of reasons: new job, new city, new house, new mortgage (I don't like debt), and the death of a child. Throw in a mid-life crisis and you have a recipe for disaster.

How does one cope? In our over-medicated society there are so many options. I talked to one friend that was on three anti-depressants - full dose. Very tempting, but he has a lot of medical problems that (he says) are unrelated to his drug addiction. I was skeptical. I had to find another path.

The path to addiction was only three stories below my office.

For the longest time, I just "didn't get" the whole Starbucks thing (what are those people thinking!?), but this past year I tried a cup. It was so convenient - just three stories down. It was great exercise to walk down the stairs, get a cup of coffee, and walk back up. How invigorating! How convenient (and how socially acceptable!).

In the past I have been a Sunday-only drinker. I had to have my cup of java as a part of my Sunday morning ritual. I was very cranky and not a very good worshiper in church if I was denied. Any other day of the week, my old standby - sweet tea - was sufficient.

Recently though, my Starbucks exercise program had become more and more expensive. I had been exercising twice a day some days - but only walking down. Now that I had graduated from "venti" to "grande" to "tall", I did not want to spill a single precious drop on the way up. The elevator was the only safe alternative.

All of this Starbucks was in addition to the large big gulp sweet tea (with a refill) that I would have with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack.

I have never been to an AA meeting, but I came to see my real self in the past few weeks and, as they always say on TV, "My name is Barry and I am an addict."

My doctor told me about a year ago that my sweet tea habit was the source of all my (minor) medical problems. I cut the sugar for a while and all my problems cleared up, but I never cut the caffeine. Over the course of the year, I have phased back in the sweet tea, and some of my old friends have returned to haunt (or itch) me again.

It is time for a change. I am a caffeine/sugar addict. I don't know which is worse. They are both killers. You can read for yourself the ill effects of either drug. Both are poisons to the system. I know that. I want my poison. I am an addict.

Here is a picture of two spider webs. The top one is the drug free spider. The bottom one is hyped up on caffeine. The bottom web looks like my life. I want my life to be orderly like the top web.



So....

This week my family is in Destin, FL for a little rest and relaxation.

I am in Destin to detox.

Day 0: Leave home.
Last huge glass of sweet tea - for the road.
No sugar or caffeine the rest of the day.
Mild headaches late afternoon, early evening.


Day 1: No sugar no caffeine
Sleep until 10:00
I am violently ill.
Much diarrhea and vomiting.
Unbelievable headaches.
Mental fog.
Head feels like it weighs a hundred pounds.
Watch "Hanna Montana" for the first time.

Day 2:
sleep until 11:00
just vomiting (this may have been exasperated by the deep sea fishing trip)
still in a mental fog - very disoriented on the whole trip - zero fish caught.
go to sleep on boat
go to condo
go back to sleep
play
second episode of "Hanna Montana." Ok.. I get it... its a cute show. Two episodes down and nothing too objectionable.

Day 3:
sleep until lunch
feeling OK
must go back to sleep.
I cheat: a shot glass full of sweet tea - OH the ecstasy!!
nap
I take the family out for ice cream - I have to get a single scoop my self - not nearly the same ecstatic pleasure as the shot of tea.
"Phineas and Ferb" is hilarious.

Day 4:
sleep until lunch
feeling good, but foggy and sleepy.
another shot glass of sweet tea - THIS must be what Heaven must be like! So incredible.
nap
play - get stung by a school of jelly fish, but I am feeling no pain....
nap
Still loving "Phineas and Ferb"

Day 5:
Get up around 8:30
feeling good except that my head feels kind of floaty and full
Water is starting to actually taste good.
Cravings are subsiding.
Pass out in front of some mindless Disney Channel pre-teen brain candy (do kids actually LIKE this stuff?)
Play on the beach - feeling good - no sunburn (not because I have good sunscreen technique - but because I have been inside in bed most of the trip).

Tomorrow is our last day.

I think I can make it, but Starbucks is waiting... only three floors down.