My five year old is so yummy. You just want to snatch him up and give him a big squeeze. He has an infectious laugh and a little dimple that is so cute when he smiles his little mischievous smile. Everything is a big adventure. And he's so kind to his little sister - a great big brother.
Matthew is full of fun and mischief, but he has his limits on what he will take.
The other day, Mommy was in the process of disciplining him and she was trying to get the order of events straight. "now when you said ..... she said... then you did this and she did that....then she said and you said... etc." You know how it goes. You are trying to get to the root problem of the conflict.
Finally Matthew was DONE with the inquisition - he had had his limit of "he said, she said, she did, he did, then what happened..." A little brain can only take so much.
"I've had enough of this foolishness," he exclaimed - and he walks off.
Mommy is sitting there in stunned silence. It took her a second to realize that the "foolishness" that he was referring to was HER inquisition.
When she finally got her wits back, she tracked him down and confronted him.
"Were you talking about what *I* was saying," she asks?
His standard defense mechanism kicks in -
"I do not want to tell you."
When he is confronted with his bad behavior, he never lies - he just pleads the 5th.
"I do not want to tell you."
No admission of guilt, no untruth to worry about covering up later. A totally clear conscience.
No wonder he sleeps so good at night.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
First Fruits
Our first veggies started trickling in this week. We planted peas, tomatoes, squash, cucumbers, green beans, watermelons, bell peppers, and cantaloupes.
The cucumbers were especially productive.
I am so proud of my children. They planted, weeded, watered, picked, and SOLD the cucumbers. They stood at a 4-way stop near our house and unloaded everything that they harvested. At fifty cents each, they almost earned enough to buy a Six-Flags ticket - that is why they are selling veggies.
When we have enough veggie proceeds, we are all going to go ride roller coasters!
This is my version of building self-esteem. They complete a hard task, reach a goal, and they feel good about themselves. They KNOW that they earned it. They know how to achieve a goal and they know that they could do it again.
In contrast, I believe that the kind of self-esteem building where everyone gets a trophy or a certificate for just showing up is pointless. I love the line from The Incredibles, (paraphrased) "if everyone is special, then no one is special." I think that rewards should be earned. Different kids are going to be good (or special) in different areas. It is OK that they didn't get the choir trophy this year (they never memorized the songs). When you reward a kid for something that they know that they did not accomplish, I think it has the unintended affect of actually lowering their self esteem. They know that they did not earn it and I believe that the message received is that "you are not capable actual accomplishment."
I want my children to learn to value discipline, hard work, and actual accomplishment. Things like selling the cucumbers provides them a vivid image of the fact that hard work results in money earned. They (hopefully) develop an understanding of how to get the things that they want (like a Six Flags ticket) and they (hopefully) develop a grateful heart because they come to understand that someone had to work hard for all the nice things that they have (or eat). They cherish the reward - they earned it. This is one of the reasons that I loved taking my boys to Jack Morris Karate in Tallahassee - he never gave them a belt that they did not earn. Their self esteem and confidence soared as they grunted and sweated to earn the prize.
Later that night I take a trip to Wal*Mart and I am confronted by a local baseball team that is raising money to go to the "World Series" (I have come to understand that there are lots of these "World Series" tournaments.. but that is another peeve for another blog). I pull out my wallet and I ask them what they were selling. (I always buy what the kids are selling because I know it takes a lot of guts to peddle Do-si-dos and Tagalongs to strangers. ) It turns out that they are selling nothing. They were just asking for money. Big strapping kids that I would gladly pay to come pick up sticks in my yard or wash my car. Their team mother has reduced them to beggars. That HAS to be damaging to their self esteem, I think to myself.
I put my wallet away. No lectures (I resist the urge), and I walk into Wal*Mart shaking my sad head.
The cucumbers were especially productive.
I am so proud of my children. They planted, weeded, watered, picked, and SOLD the cucumbers. They stood at a 4-way stop near our house and unloaded everything that they harvested. At fifty cents each, they almost earned enough to buy a Six-Flags ticket - that is why they are selling veggies.
When we have enough veggie proceeds, we are all going to go ride roller coasters!
This is my version of building self-esteem. They complete a hard task, reach a goal, and they feel good about themselves. They KNOW that they earned it. They know how to achieve a goal and they know that they could do it again.
In contrast, I believe that the kind of self-esteem building where everyone gets a trophy or a certificate for just showing up is pointless. I love the line from The Incredibles, (paraphrased) "if everyone is special, then no one is special." I think that rewards should be earned. Different kids are going to be good (or special) in different areas. It is OK that they didn't get the choir trophy this year (they never memorized the songs). When you reward a kid for something that they know that they did not accomplish, I think it has the unintended affect of actually lowering their self esteem. They know that they did not earn it and I believe that the message received is that "you are not capable actual accomplishment."
I want my children to learn to value discipline, hard work, and actual accomplishment. Things like selling the cucumbers provides them a vivid image of the fact that hard work results in money earned. They (hopefully) develop an understanding of how to get the things that they want (like a Six Flags ticket) and they (hopefully) develop a grateful heart because they come to understand that someone had to work hard for all the nice things that they have (or eat). They cherish the reward - they earned it. This is one of the reasons that I loved taking my boys to Jack Morris Karate in Tallahassee - he never gave them a belt that they did not earn. Their self esteem and confidence soared as they grunted and sweated to earn the prize.
Later that night I take a trip to Wal*Mart and I am confronted by a local baseball team that is raising money to go to the "World Series" (I have come to understand that there are lots of these "World Series" tournaments.. but that is another peeve for another blog). I pull out my wallet and I ask them what they were selling. (I always buy what the kids are selling because I know it takes a lot of guts to peddle Do-si-dos and Tagalongs to strangers. ) It turns out that they are selling nothing. They were just asking for money. Big strapping kids that I would gladly pay to come pick up sticks in my yard or wash my car. Their team mother has reduced them to beggars. That HAS to be damaging to their self esteem, I think to myself.
I put my wallet away. No lectures (I resist the urge), and I walk into Wal*Mart shaking my sad head.
Monday, June 30, 2008
The discipline of the car
Update: A couple of posting ago I talked about how a nice ride with Daddy may be an alternate form of disciple.
Evelyn informed me today that Matthew knocked one of his teeth loose today and screamed for about an hour. The car ride on the way to the dentist was what stopped his screaming.
I love it when theory is borne out by data.
Previous post: Tough Love Vs. Spankings
Evelyn informed me today that Matthew knocked one of his teeth loose today and screamed for about an hour. The car ride on the way to the dentist was what stopped his screaming.
I love it when theory is borne out by data.
Previous post: Tough Love Vs. Spankings
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Picky Eaters II
"He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet." Proverbs 27:7 (NIV)
The gist I get when I read the modern (NIV) translation is this: when your tummy if full, even the yummiest thing that you could think of (honeycomb) is undesirable. UGH... no thank you. But when you are hungry, you will eat ANYthing - even food that you would normally consider to be yucky is a welcome treat.
This is an interesting observation by the Proverb writer. Maybe a child-rearing application. Ok...next Proverb.
That is about all I got from the NIV.
Then I switched to the 1611 "authorized" version* and I read:
"The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet." Proverbs 27:7 (KJV)
The gist that I get here is that a soul that is hungry is able to experience the sweetness of God's goodness even in life's bitterness (this is certainly our family's testimony this year). Romans
8:28 comes to mind.
I have found that when I read the Psalms and Proverbs in the KJV, the spiritual application is more readily apparent. It seems that "modern" versions naturalize the sayings. The verse is about physical hunger... or is it? I find myself doing more contemplating and thinking about the deeper meanings when I read the KJV (I am not ready to abandon my "modern" translations yet, but this is very interesting to me).
When I read the KJV here, I wonder what would make a soul full. I wonder if it is little and therefore not able to hold very much. I think about church people that can get full by just spending 20 minutes in God's Word once a week on Sunday morning.
I think about people that get antsy when the Bible study goes 5 minutes into overtime. Is the soul full? I think about people who argue over hymns versus drums. Is the soul so full that it cannot eat at the table of "strange food?" Is the music bitter because the soul is full?
I want to be hungry. I AM hungry. I never get enough to eat on Sunday mornings. I have had to learn to feed myself (is that a sign of growth?). There was one church that I attended during my single years where Sunday mornings was a feast. By the time you got through with an hour and a half Sunday School Bible study and a 40 to 60 minute sermon, you felt so bloated that you had to spend the rest of the afternoon walking it off. Then when 6:00 rolled around, you were delighted to be back at the trough - only to wallow off bloated again by 7:30 or 8:00. It was decadent. Except that there was one really mean Sunday School teacher...but even in her meanness, she spoke the truth. It was sometimes bitter - but it was always good. It was healthy.
I want to have a hungry soul for God. I do not want to be that picky eater that turns his nose up when God offers something bitter. Sometimes it is the bitter thing that makes us stronger or healthier. Sometimes the bitterness turns into a blessing. Our bitterness this year was the death of our baby girl. There is still grief that is triggered by random things. But, God has taken that bitterness and turned it into countless blessings. I will write that book someday.
We know now, more that ever, that words are the Psalmist are true. He makes all things beautiful in His time and His goodness endures forever.
God give me a hunger for everything on your table - both the bitter and the sweet.
* authorized by the king of England, not the King of kings. A little aside for my "KJV only" buddies.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Picky Eaters
The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet. Proverbs 27:7
One of our former neighbors, a very wise woman with half a dozen kids, gave us some advice for dealing with our picky eater.
"Hunger is the best sauce," she would say.
We strive to provide our children a very low sugar and otherwise healthy diet. I don't know if its is good genetics, healthy eating, or just the grace of God, but we have only been to the doctor twice that I can remember. Thats in 10 years - for all five kids. We pray a lot and we feed them lots of apples and homemade nutrient rich whole wheat bread.
But what do you do with the kid that doesn't want to get with the program? We got the junk food out of the house (a recent guest was appalled at our lack of "snacks" in the pantry - she had to show her husband- "look at this... can you BELIEVE?" borderline child abuse).
We stopped snacking between meals (most days).
Still - a picky eater. In my mind, I am going to send him away hungry. Then he will be hungry enough to eat monkey brains at the next meal. ... but then I cave... I gave him my yummy homemade roll last night because that was all he was eating. I really wanted that roll - it was the last one, but he was so pitiful. I hope that held him over until breakfast. He didn't complain, but he had LOTS of watermelon for dessert.
He has gotten better over the years. He knows that he can't have anything except what is being served to the rest of the family, so he has (on occasion) ventured out and discovered a new thing or two that he could (would) eat.
We started on the little kids while they were too young to complain. They will eat anything - they never got to choose.
Maybe hunger is the best sauce.
One of our former neighbors, a very wise woman with half a dozen kids, gave us some advice for dealing with our picky eater.
"Hunger is the best sauce," she would say.
We strive to provide our children a very low sugar and otherwise healthy diet. I don't know if its is good genetics, healthy eating, or just the grace of God, but we have only been to the doctor twice that I can remember. Thats in 10 years - for all five kids. We pray a lot and we feed them lots of apples and homemade nutrient rich whole wheat bread.
But what do you do with the kid that doesn't want to get with the program? We got the junk food out of the house (a recent guest was appalled at our lack of "snacks" in the pantry - she had to show her husband- "look at this... can you BELIEVE?" borderline child abuse).
We stopped snacking between meals (most days).
Still - a picky eater. In my mind, I am going to send him away hungry. Then he will be hungry enough to eat monkey brains at the next meal. ... but then I cave... I gave him my yummy homemade roll last night because that was all he was eating. I really wanted that roll - it was the last one, but he was so pitiful. I hope that held him over until breakfast. He didn't complain, but he had LOTS of watermelon for dessert.
He has gotten better over the years. He knows that he can't have anything except what is being served to the rest of the family, so he has (on occasion) ventured out and discovered a new thing or two that he could (would) eat.
We started on the little kids while they were too young to complain. They will eat anything - they never got to choose.
Maybe hunger is the best sauce.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Tough love versus spankings
Most of America's populace think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have "those moments."
One that I have found effective is for me to just take the child for a ride in the car and talk
Some say it is the vibration from the car, others say it is the time away from distractions such as TV, video games, computer, IPod, etc.
Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.
I have included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique
Check the speed!
I think this will work with grandchildren, nephews, and nieces as well.
**my dad sent this to me.... source unknown.
One that I have found effective is for me to just take the child for a ride in the car and talk
Some say it is the vibration from the car, others say it is the time away from distractions such as TV, video games, computer, IPod, etc.
Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.
I have included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique
Check the speed!
I think this will work with grandchildren, nephews, and nieces as well.
**my dad sent this to me.... source unknown.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Amendment
Every family has rules.
We have certain expectations of our children and we seek to continually reinforce those expectations.
But, some things you just can't anticipate. You have those moments when you realize that you have never in your life dreamed that you would use that particular combination of words in the same sentence.
This weekend our girls were playing with beads and making all kinds of wonderful creations. They have the beads that you put on strings and another kind of beads that you put on a grid in a pretty pattern then use Mommy's iron to make all the pretty beads stick together. I think that the girls get more use out of Mommy's iron than she does... but that's a painful story for later...
Anyway... our precious girls and their cousin spend the morning making delightful creations by melting the plastic beads with Mommie's hot iron. All is well...until the 3 year old has the bright idea that these beads are just the right size for cramming up her nose. How fun is that? You put several beads up your nose, show your friends....get a nice laugh.. and then out they come... right? You can imagine the fun.
Then the screaming starts.
Mommy can't get it. I get a call in my basement lair, "Dr. Marchman... you are needed in surgery." I don't think people "get it" that a PhD is not the same as an MD... but I practice on my own kids anyway... just to add to the confusion in their minds... maybe Dad IS a doctor....
She is laid out on the bathroom counter. The bead is WAAAAY up her nose. Tweezers. Too big. Think..... something small and tweezer like... back down to the basement lair.... tiny tools for working on tiny electronics...that should work.....doesn't work. Think.. think think...
MacGyver mode kicks in.... what do we have? We have a tooth pic, a hair pin, a pair of pliers and some dental floss. If I can just turn it around with the tooth pick...so I can see the hole in the bead...we can fish it out....SREEEEEEAAAM. Let me know if anything hurts sweetheart.......
she is actually VERY calm... except when I poke at the bead with a toothpick.
Bend the hairpins into tiny tweezers.... that should work....four different designs.... all failures. The infant snot sucker... doesn't work. Manual snot sucker (me sucking on her nose) YECH... does not work...
We need more light (and I need to clear my palate) ... down to the master bath.... bright surgical lights....mommy holds her head... toothpick (with the flat "handle" end) works this time. The object is rotated...
HOLY COW!!!! Its not a bead!!!
I can see clearly how to get it out, but we do not have the tool we need.
Back down to the basement lair....with the tweezers.....grinder on... sparks flying...must make just the right shape (sorry... they will never pluck eyebrows again)....
... back up to surgery... with just the right tool....
Slowly... slowly... SCREEEEEEEEEEAM... slowly...
GOT IT!
Giggling..."thank you Daddy."
Go put it in the gun and shoot it.
Its a live cap for the boy's cap gun.
So now we have a new rule, an amendment to the Marchman constitution, a new parental expectation:
Do not put any explosive device in your nose or in your sister's nose.
(the last part is preemptive... just in case the boys get any ideas... you said not in MY nose...)
Rule making is a constant battle of wits.
Seriously though, we are striving to train these children not to follow rules, but to follow the rule giver. When they are little, the rule giver is Daddy (or Mommy). We expect (but do not always get) instant, first time obedience. Appropriate discipline comes after the first command, not the second, third, fourth, or a screaming 10th time I told you....(this is our philosophy... not our perfect practice).
As they grow older, we hope to shift their desire to please their father to a desire to please their Heavenly Father. If they will follow Him with all of their hearts, minds, soul, and strength, the rules will take care of themselves and maybe (hopefully) they will develop the wisdom to keep explosive devices out of their nose.
We have certain expectations of our children and we seek to continually reinforce those expectations.
But, some things you just can't anticipate. You have those moments when you realize that you have never in your life dreamed that you would use that particular combination of words in the same sentence.
This weekend our girls were playing with beads and making all kinds of wonderful creations. They have the beads that you put on strings and another kind of beads that you put on a grid in a pretty pattern then use Mommy's iron to make all the pretty beads stick together. I think that the girls get more use out of Mommy's iron than she does... but that's a painful story for later...
Anyway... our precious girls and their cousin spend the morning making delightful creations by melting the plastic beads with Mommie's hot iron. All is well...until the 3 year old has the bright idea that these beads are just the right size for cramming up her nose. How fun is that? You put several beads up your nose, show your friends....get a nice laugh.. and then out they come... right? You can imagine the fun.
Then the screaming starts.
Mommy can't get it. I get a call in my basement lair, "Dr. Marchman... you are needed in surgery." I don't think people "get it" that a PhD is not the same as an MD... but I practice on my own kids anyway... just to add to the confusion in their minds... maybe Dad IS a doctor....
She is laid out on the bathroom counter. The bead is WAAAAY up her nose. Tweezers. Too big. Think..... something small and tweezer like... back down to the basement lair.... tiny tools for working on tiny electronics...that should work.....doesn't work. Think.. think think...
MacGyver mode kicks in.... what do we have? We have a tooth pic, a hair pin, a pair of pliers and some dental floss. If I can just turn it around with the tooth pick...so I can see the hole in the bead...we can fish it out....SREEEEEEAAAM. Let me know if anything hurts sweetheart.......
she is actually VERY calm... except when I poke at the bead with a toothpick.
Bend the hairpins into tiny tweezers.... that should work....four different designs.... all failures. The infant snot sucker... doesn't work. Manual snot sucker (me sucking on her nose) YECH... does not work...
We need more light (and I need to clear my palate) ... down to the master bath.... bright surgical lights....mommy holds her head... toothpick (with the flat "handle" end) works this time. The object is rotated...
HOLY COW!!!! Its not a bead!!!
I can see clearly how to get it out, but we do not have the tool we need.
Back down to the basement lair....with the tweezers.....grinder on... sparks flying...must make just the right shape (sorry... they will never pluck eyebrows again)....
... back up to surgery... with just the right tool....
Slowly... slowly... SCREEEEEEEEEEAM... slowly...
GOT IT!
Giggling..."thank you Daddy."
Go put it in the gun and shoot it.
Its a live cap for the boy's cap gun.
So now we have a new rule, an amendment to the Marchman constitution, a new parental expectation:
Do not put any explosive device in your nose or in your sister's nose.
(the last part is preemptive... just in case the boys get any ideas... you said not in MY nose...)
Rule making is a constant battle of wits.
Seriously though, we are striving to train these children not to follow rules, but to follow the rule giver. When they are little, the rule giver is Daddy (or Mommy). We expect (but do not always get) instant, first time obedience. Appropriate discipline comes after the first command, not the second, third, fourth, or a screaming 10th time I told you....(this is our philosophy... not our perfect practice).
As they grow older, we hope to shift their desire to please their father to a desire to please their Heavenly Father. If they will follow Him with all of their hearts, minds, soul, and strength, the rules will take care of themselves and maybe (hopefully) they will develop the wisdom to keep explosive devices out of their nose.
Monday, June 2, 2008
A useful engine
Are you familiar with Thomas the Tank Engine? It is high praise for the mayor of the town to refer to one of the engines as a "useful engine." It is what all the engines aspire to.
I was reading Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest" this morning and as usual I was reading the wrong date in the daily devotional. I think it was May 18th or 19th that is talking about being used by God.
How do we best do God's work? The same way that creation best does God's work. It just is. The stars, the ocean, the sun, the moon, the delicate flower... they just are. And God is glorified.
In the same way, we just are. What we are pales in comparison to what we do or what we say. Much of what we do for God is done in our own strength for our own reasons. That doesn't glorify Him. It is only when we are in a right relationship with him that what we do and what we say has any eternal significance. In fact, when we are in a right relationship with God, EVERYTHING we do - even just being - is a testimony to God. We are doing his work every moment. Just as we ponder the stars in awe on a clear night, people will ponder us in awe when we are in a right relationship with Him. Hopefully the stargazer and the Barry-gazer will be pointed in the same direction - to their maker.
I heard on pastor express a similar concept: "It is your job to develop your message... and it is God's job to develop your ministry." Our message is developed by obedience - even when obedience does not make sense.
We can only be a truly useful engine in God's kingdom when we are totally submitted to Him.
I was reading Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest" this morning and as usual I was reading the wrong date in the daily devotional. I think it was May 18th or 19th that is talking about being used by God.
How do we best do God's work? The same way that creation best does God's work. It just is. The stars, the ocean, the sun, the moon, the delicate flower... they just are. And God is glorified.
In the same way, we just are. What we are pales in comparison to what we do or what we say. Much of what we do for God is done in our own strength for our own reasons. That doesn't glorify Him. It is only when we are in a right relationship with him that what we do and what we say has any eternal significance. In fact, when we are in a right relationship with God, EVERYTHING we do - even just being - is a testimony to God. We are doing his work every moment. Just as we ponder the stars in awe on a clear night, people will ponder us in awe when we are in a right relationship with Him. Hopefully the stargazer and the Barry-gazer will be pointed in the same direction - to their maker.
I heard on pastor express a similar concept: "It is your job to develop your message... and it is God's job to develop your ministry." Our message is developed by obedience - even when obedience does not make sense.
We can only be a truly useful engine in God's kingdom when we are totally submitted to Him.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The Boss
Mommy is busy at work preparing the next meal. Chloe jumps up on a stool near Mommy and says, "Mommy, I want to help you!." Mommy smiles and starts to give instruction, but she is interrupted by a glass pounding on the counter and the demand of her little cherub, "now give me some orange juice!"
We all have to be very careful with this little angel. She is so cute and smiley. Her requests are so innocent at first. You feel like a bad person if you don't comply. The three year old is hungry. Can't she have an apple? Of course she can. The three year old is thirsty, can't she have a glass of water? Of course. She "accidentally" spills water on her pretty outfit (that she didn't want to wear)... can she go change?
She is a born leader - the kind of leader that has all her minions in her orbit doing her bidding. It starts with a simple request, but then you find yourself being drawn into her complex game of spider and fly. Then... she strikes. Suddenly its YOUR idea to go get the outfit that she wanted to wear all along. And as if to rub her victory in your nose ... you get to help her change into it ("I can't button it," she says). She runs away laughing that infectious laugh. She is very good. We have to be very careful to funnel these skills into a positive direction. Otherwise she will have 6 Marchman minions all doing her bidding very soon.
Resistance is futile - you can't say no to her. But you must. I think that the key is not making eye contact.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day
On Memorial Day, I always get choked up while telling the kids about the men that died to make us free. We talk about the Revolutionary War, the World Wars, and other recent wars. I cry every Memorial Day when I hang my flag. I can't even finish my tribute most Memorial days without blubbering like a baby. The tears flow out of a grateful heart for those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. My heart aches for the families that never saw their loved one again.
Today we did something unusual. We visited a
As we browsed through the markers we found that some of the soldiers were killed in action (KIA) while others made it home and lived long lives. All of them are heroes.
Just the fact that someone would be honoring these soldiers 150 or so years after their death was very touching to me. Someone has a list of names. Every year, the people on this list are memorialized with a little flag. These people are not in any history book and most accomplished no great standing in life. They just defended their families in a cause for freedom and their families are still honoring them 150 years later. To me, that makes them a hero.
I challenged the kids today to live their lives in such a way that their families would still be honoring them 150 years after they died. I challenged myself also. One hundred and fifty years later... will they remember?
Jonathan (10) found a tombstone that had been knocked down and broken into three pieces. He gently and very respectfully put the chunky base back in its place. Then he very meticulously placed the other two pieces on top of the first piece. I lost it. I think I managed to squeak out through my lumpy throat and watery eyes, "that was very respectful, Jonathan."
We stopped at the cemetery out of curiosity on our way to somewhere else. I was surprised at how moving of an experience it turned out to be.
Will anyone remember me or consider me as hero 150 years from now? I know that every Daddy is a hero to his children. But to his children's children's children? Now that is something to aspire to.
Are the Confederate soldiers heroes? Some people may not consider the soldiers in a losing cause to be heroes, but they are.
They are heroes because they defended their families and loved ones against an invading army. Many of them did not even know what they were fighting for. They just knew an army was invading their land and frightening their wives and children. They fought to protect the ones they loved most.
The ones that did know what they were fighting for are heroes too. They were fighting to preserve their way of life. They were fighting against a central government that was over-reaching its power. They understood that a government that governs least governs best. They were fighting for the right to govern themselves at the state and local level. No one in
The situation was very similar to that in Revolutionary War times where a far away government was trying to dictate its will on a people without giving them a fair representation. But even if there was fair representation, the far away government was over extending its powers by trying to take powers reserved for the States (or the local governments) as their own.
The far away government succeeded and we are a weaker nation because of it. The level of government interference in the average American's life today is unprecedented in history.
The Confederate soldiers are heroes. Anyone who has fought to limit the powers of the Federal government is a hero of mine.
We honor their memory today.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Good War
Ok..so I haven't posted in a while. I have been blogging, but not "publishing." The stuff on Esther sounds so much like a UFO conspiracy theory ... I just can't put it out there yet.
Things are going well for our family. Jonathan is having is 10th birthday this week. Its hard to believe. We have a wonderful family of 9 staying with us this weekend so we have a ready made birthday party!
We played capture the flag - actually it was capture the shoe (we were hiding an old flip flop). The (10) kids had armor, swords, sticks, nerf guns, sling shots, and various other weapons. The rules were very complicated and often disputed. The criteria for injuries versus death versus having to go to prison were dizzying. After one especially grueling match (the last one of the day), Jonathan and I had just battled with our pvc pipes to the death (I died) while my team ran away with the flag.... the agony of defeat was heavy on Jonathan's face. After he caught his breath .... the way he smiled through his exhaustion and said "that was a good war, Dad" ... really touched me.
That's male bonding in a nutshell. You beat each other to a pulp... you get mad, get bloody, you scream and growl and say awful things in the heat of the battle... but then when its over... you leave the battle field arm in arm with the ties that bind a little bit stronger....
Girls don't get that.
God gets it.
That's why he tells wives to respect their husbands. Thats what we crave...more than love, faithfulness, clean laundry, or a home cooked meal. We want our wives to go "WOW... he is awesome."
Thats what the battle field bonding is about... earning our mutual respect - its what we live for. To hear those words.... "good war, buddy."
Things are going well for our family. Jonathan is having is 10th birthday this week. Its hard to believe. We have a wonderful family of 9 staying with us this weekend so we have a ready made birthday party!
We played capture the flag - actually it was capture the shoe (we were hiding an old flip flop). The (10) kids had armor, swords, sticks, nerf guns, sling shots, and various other weapons. The rules were very complicated and often disputed. The criteria for injuries versus death versus having to go to prison were dizzying. After one especially grueling match (the last one of the day), Jonathan and I had just battled with our pvc pipes to the death (I died) while my team ran away with the flag.... the agony of defeat was heavy on Jonathan's face. After he caught his breath .... the way he smiled through his exhaustion and said "that was a good war, Dad" ... really touched me.
That's male bonding in a nutshell. You beat each other to a pulp... you get mad, get bloody, you scream and growl and say awful things in the heat of the battle... but then when its over... you leave the battle field arm in arm with the ties that bind a little bit stronger....
Girls don't get that.
God gets it.
That's why he tells wives to respect their husbands. Thats what we crave...more than love, faithfulness, clean laundry, or a home cooked meal. We want our wives to go "WOW... he is awesome."
Thats what the battle field bonding is about... earning our mutual respect - its what we live for. To hear those words.... "good war, buddy."
Monday, January 7, 2008
No Greater Joy
It gives me great joy to see my children walking in truth and speaking truth to one another.
Imagine my thrill when I overheard my precious 9 year old call out to his younger brother. "Hey, I want to share a scripture with you!"
It was such a proud parent moment.
The precious 9 yr old had been reading his one-year Bible faithfully as a part of his daily homeschool routine. Finally, I thought, he has begun to internalize the timeless truths of God's Word. As the Holy Spirit spoke through the written word, my son must have been so overwhelmed with the power, the majesty, the beauty of God's Word that he just couldn't contain himself. His only response was to worship God and proclaim the word to his little brother.
I listened intently from the other room.
"Listen to this," says precious. "Make her drunk, for she has defied the Lord. Let Moab wallow in her vomit;" (Jer 48:26)
Hysterical laughter from the other room. They are literally rolling on the floor.
Sigh.
Who needs "Captain Underpants" when you have the Holy Word of God.
Evelyn HATES Captain Underpants. I mean REALLY hates.
Imagine my thrill when I overheard my precious 9 year old call out to his younger brother. "Hey, I want to share a scripture with you!"
It was such a proud parent moment.
The precious 9 yr old had been reading his one-year Bible faithfully as a part of his daily homeschool routine. Finally, I thought, he has begun to internalize the timeless truths of God's Word. As the Holy Spirit spoke through the written word, my son must have been so overwhelmed with the power, the majesty, the beauty of God's Word that he just couldn't contain himself. His only response was to worship God and proclaim the word to his little brother.
I listened intently from the other room.
"Listen to this," says precious. "Make her drunk, for she has defied the Lord. Let Moab wallow in her vomit;" (Jer 48:26)
Hysterical laughter from the other room. They are literally rolling on the floor.
Sigh.
Who needs "Captain Underpants" when you have the Holy Word of God.
Evelyn HATES Captain Underpants. I mean REALLY hates.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
