The Boss

Mommy is busy at work preparing the next meal. Chloe jumps up on a stool near Mommy and says, "Mommy, I want to help you!." Mommy smiles and starts to give instruction, but she is interrupted by a glass pounding on the counter and the demand of her little cherub, "now give me some orange juice!"

We all have to be very careful with this little angel. She is so cute and smiley. Her requests are so innocent at first. You feel like a bad person if you don't comply. The three year old is hungry. Can't she have an apple? Of course she can. The three year old is thirsty, can't she have a glass of water? Of course. She "accidentally" spills water on her pretty outfit (that she didn't want to wear)... can she go change?

She is a born leader - the kind of leader that has all her minions in her orbit doing her bidding. It starts with a simple request, but then you find yourself being drawn into her complex game of spider and fly. Then... she strikes. Suddenly its YOUR idea to go get the outfit that she wanted to wear all along. And as if to rub her victory in your nose ... you get to help her change into it ("I can't button it," she says). She runs away laughing that infectious laugh. She is very good. We have to be very careful to funnel these skills into a positive direction. Otherwise she will have 6 Marchman minions all doing her bidding very soon.

Resistance is futile - you can't say no to her. But you must. I think that the key is not making eye contact.

Memorial Day

On Memorial Day, I always get choked up while telling the kids about the men that died to make us free. We talk about the Revolutionary War, the World Wars, and other recent wars. I cry every Memorial Day when I hang my flag. I can't even finish my tribute most Memorial days without blubbering like a baby. The tears flow out of a grateful heart for those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. My heart aches for the families that never saw their loved one again.

Today we did something unusual. We visited a Confederate Cemetery. Not everyone buried at this Tyrone, GA cemetery was a confederate soldier, but every soldier's grave was marked with the battle flag of the Confederacy. The cemetery was not quite neglected, but it was one of those almost forgotten places where the grass is a little long, and many of the tombstones are so old that you can hardly read the engravings. Many of the markers are leaning or cracked with age.

As we browsed through the markers we found that some of the soldiers were killed in action (KIA) while others made it home and lived long lives. All of them are heroes.

Just the fact that someone would be honoring these soldiers 150 or so years after their death was very touching to me. Someone has a list of names. Every year, the people on this list are memorialized with a little flag. These people are not in any history book and most accomplished no great standing in life. They just defended their families in a cause for freedom and their families are still honoring them 150 years later. To me, that makes them a hero.

I challenged the kids today to live their lives in such a way that their families would still be honoring them 150 years after they died. I challenged myself also. One hundred and fifty years later... will they remember?

Jonathan (10) found a tombstone that had been knocked down and broken into three pieces. He gently and very respectfully put the chunky base back in its place. Then he very meticulously placed the other two pieces on top of the first piece. I lost it. I think I managed to squeak out through my lumpy throat and watery eyes, "that was very respectful, Jonathan."

We stopped at the cemetery out of curiosity on our way to somewhere else. I was surprised at how moving of an experience it turned out to be.

Will anyone remember me or consider me as hero 150 years from now? I know that every Daddy is a hero to his children. But to his children's children's children? Now that is something to aspire to.

Are the Confederate soldiers heroes? Some people may not consider the soldiers in a losing cause to be heroes, but they are.

They are heroes because they defended their families and loved ones against an invading army. Many of them did not even know what they were fighting for. They just knew an army was invading their land and frightening their wives and children. They fought to protect the ones they loved most.

The ones that did know what they were fighting for are heroes too. They were fighting to preserve their way of life. They were fighting against a central government that was over-reaching its power. They understood that a government that governs least governs best. They were fighting for the right to govern themselves at the state and local level. No one in Washington DC has the right to tell us how to live our lives, raise our families, educate our children, worship our God, or run our business. The Civil War (or War of Northern Aggression) was not about slavery - except as it was a state's rights issue (the states should have the power to decide without interference from the Federal government) . Eighty percent of southerners did not even own slaves. It was a non-issue to most.

The situation was very similar to that in Revolutionary War times where a far away government was trying to dictate its will on a people without giving them a fair representation. But even if there was fair representation, the far away government was over extending its powers by trying to take powers reserved for the States (or the local governments) as their own.

The far away government succeeded and we are a weaker nation because of it. The level of government interference in the average American's life today is unprecedented in history.

The Confederate soldiers are heroes. Anyone who has fought to limit the powers of the Federal government is a hero of mine.

We honor their memory today.

Good War

Ok..so I haven't posted in a while. I have been blogging, but not "publishing." The stuff on Esther sounds so much like a UFO conspiracy theory ... I just can't put it out there yet.

Things are going well for our family. Jonathan is having is 10th birthday this week. Its hard to believe. We have a wonderful family of 9 staying with us this weekend so we have a ready made birthday party!

We played capture the flag - actually it was capture the shoe (we were hiding an old flip flop). The (10) kids had armor, swords, sticks, nerf guns, sling shots, and various other weapons. The rules were very complicated and often disputed. The criteria for injuries versus death versus having to go to prison were dizzying. After one especially grueling match (the last one of the day), Jonathan and I had just battled with our pvc pipes to the death (I died) while my team ran away with the flag.... the agony of defeat was heavy on Jonathan's face. After he caught his breath .... the way he smiled through his exhaustion and said "that was a good war, Dad" ... really touched me.

That's male bonding in a nutshell. You beat each other to a pulp... you get mad, get bloody, you scream and growl and say awful things in the heat of the battle... but then when its over... you leave the battle field arm in arm with the ties that bind a little bit stronger....

Girls don't get that.

God gets it.

That's why he tells wives to respect their husbands. Thats what we crave...more than love, faithfulness, clean laundry, or a home cooked meal. We want our wives to go "WOW... he is awesome."

Thats what the battle field bonding is about... earning our mutual respect - its what we live for. To hear those words.... "good war, buddy."

Esther versus Romans 6-8

In preparation for Purim (March 21, 2008), I thought it would be interesting to look at Esther.

Read Romans 6-8 and then read Esther in this context:

Esther is your spirit
The king is your will
Haman is your flesh
Mordecai is the holy spirit

It is an amazing read.

Name meanings:

Esther: Something hidden, or a star
Hadassa (Esther's Hebrew name): Myrtle - myrtle gives of a sweet aroma when it is crushed and beaten
Xerses: The king (this is a title, not his name)
Haman: Magnificent, or tumult
Mordecai: Little man
Mordecai's lineage (Jair, Shimei, Kish, Benjamine); my light; that hears or obeys; bent (towards) the son of the right hand

Proverbs 25:2 - ”[It is] the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings [is] to search out a matter."

The seven advisers to the king (perhaps 7 facets of "self") with their name meanings:
Casrhena: illustrious
Shethar: star
Admatha: given by the highest
Tarshish: a jewel (yellow jasper)
Meres: lofty
Marsena: worthy
Memucan: dignified

Isn't that how we want to see ourselves?

Some words have dual meanings. This is common in the English language. Can you think of an example? It is common in Hebrew too. The seven advisers names have other meanings.

Casrhena: sleeping, a lamb (lambs are known for being weak and dumb)
Shethar: putrefied; searching
Admatha: a cloud of death; a mortal vapor
Tarshish: contemplation (worry?)
Meres: defluxion; imposthume (I had too look it up... an oozing sore)
Marsena: bitterness of a bramble
Memucan: impoverished

The first list is our mask to the world. The second list (I think) is more representative of our condition before God. Isaiah writes that "all our righteous is as filthy rags." Realizing who we really are magnifies our need for redemption.

I will post more insights later.

(Name meanings are from Strong's Concordance or netbible.org)

Divorce makes me so angry

Here is a short note to a brother:

"I was just thinking about you and I was praying for your family. I know that your wife is far from perfect, but I am praying for restoration anyway. I assume you were married in the Christian sense and not just the legal sense. If that is the case, you have desolved the contract, but the vow before God remains. Don't be guilty of perjuring yourself in God's court. Go back to your family. You are their protector. I pray that you will undo this great violence you have done to your wife and children."

In addition to violently abusing the wife to whom he has a Biblical mandate to protect, the children are also violently abused in the process.

The man that is married in the Christian sense is the covenent initiater. As such, he bears the full responsiblity to see that the covenent is fulfilled. Christian marriage is not a legal contract based on distrust of the other party (if you do this, I will do this... as long as I feel a certain way). It is not a legal contract that can be desolved at the whim of one party or the other. Christian marriage is a covenent relationship before God. God has a covenent with Isreal. They act like a bunch of goof balls. Yet God is faithful to His covenent even when the object of the covenent is unlovable and unloving. Marriage is a picture of God's covenent with us. The man is responsible for the integrity of the covenent.

The emotional abuse to the children in irrepairable. They will carry the rejection with them the rest of their life. No gift or "quality time" with dad can undo the damage a child suffers when daddy rejects mommy. If Daddy can stop loving Mommy, he can stop loving me too. Maybe he has already stopped loving me. Maybe that's why he left.

There is no greater gift you can give to your kids than to love their Mommy.

In addition to abusing your wife and children, the BODY OF CHRIST is damaged when you leave your family. How dare you sever the body in this way and then tell me "its none of your business." When the toe is bleeding, how can it say to the hands, "leave me alone.. this doesn't concern you." We are a body and we ALL feel the pain of this violence that has been inflicted upon the body.

In addition to abusing your spouse, your children, and the body of Christ, you are abusing your country and neglecting your patriotic duty to make the country strong. Our country is weaker every time the fabric of our society (the family) is torn apart. You are a traitor to your country.

But there is hope. You do not HAVE to be a child abuser and a wife abuser. You do not HAVE to inflict this damage to the body of Christ. You do not HAVE to be a traitor to your country. God knows that we are dust. He knows our flesh is weak. Turn back to your family. They desparately want you to come home. It will take a lot of hard work, but your children need you at home. Turn back to God. He is waiting for you like the father waiting for the prodigal son. The fatted calf is ready for the feast the moment you come home. Your country is counting on your children to be the strength of the next generation. Go home so that they can be strong.

I am praying desparately for the restoration of your marriage. So are your children.

But if you are determined to inflict this violence on your family and on society, I think it would be better if God took you home right away. Surely the pain of being a widow or an orphan is easier to bear than the pain of rejection. I pray that you will go home or that God will take you from this earth - for the sake of your children.

Woman at the Well

Here are my deeeeep thoughts from church on Sunday.

The story was about the woman at the well (or something around those verses in John). She was a Samaritan - hated by the Jews - just because they were from Samaria. Jesus asks her for a drink. Of course she is shocked that a Jew would even speak to her, much less ask her for water. What is he doing here anyway? Most Jews go AROUND Samaria, not THROUGH it. Remember the good Samaritan helping the beaten and bloody Jew? Also unheard of, shocking, in that culture.

Anyway, Jesus asks her to go get her husband. She doesn't have a husband. Jesus says "I know, and in fact, the guy you are living with now is not your husband." She had been with lots of "husbands." You know the type. Probably a very needy (aren't we all?) woman going from man to man's bed trying to satisfy a deep need that she can't fully describe. Maybe she needed security, maybe her Daddy never hugged her, or maybe it was just simple promiscuity. We don't know.

I wonder what Imus would say if he were reporting this story? He'd probably be back off the air for a while.

This woman is amazed by Jesus' ability to "tell me everything I ever did." Jesus didn't condemn her or throw rocks at her, he just told her what she had done. I think it was more than historical accounting that got her. Mabye it was something about the way he looked at her. Maybe it was a kindness in His voice that she had never heard from a man. Maybe he was the first man that she ever met that treated her with dignity and respect. I'll bet he was the first man that ever loved her just because she was His - not because of what she could give.

She ran back to the village and told everyone that would listen, "you have GOT to meet this man that told me everything I ever did." Two points here: 1. I do not think I would go running down the street to meet a man who could tell the whole village everything I have ever done. I am kind of a private person. I don't want anyone going through my garbage. But this woman, she had reached her breaking point. The point where she didn't care anymore. She wanted Jesus' living water more than she wanted her privacy. I believe that Jesus wants to bring us all to that point. To the point where we want Him more than we want anything else - including our dignity and pride.

Point #2. This woman did not go and kick the man out of her house or go through any 12-step program to get "clean" or "certifiably holy", before she was used by God. She simply ran and invited people to come see this amazing man who promised living waters to all who would come.

If there was ever a broken vessel for carrying the light of Christ, she was it. We don't have to be perfect* to share Jesus with others. He knows we are dust. He knows we are frail. He knows we are broken and bound to this sinful flesh until the day he calls us home.

Deep thought: What we are should never disqualify us from proclaiming who He is.




*disclaimer: Romans 6:1-2

Angry White Man

I think I resemble that remark...

From the Aspen Times..

There is a great amount of interest in this year’s presidential elections, as everybody seems to recognize that our next president has to be a lot better than George Bush. The Democrats are riding high with two groundbreaking candidates — a woman and an African-American — while the conservative Republicans are in a quandary about their party’s nod to a quasi-liberal maverick, John McCain.

Each candidate is carefully pandering to a smorgasbord of special-interest groups, ranging from gay, lesbian and transgender people to children of illegal immigrants to working mothers to evangelical Christians.

There is one group no one has recognized, and it is the group that will decide the election: the Angry White Man. The Angry White Man comes from all economic backgrounds, from dirt-poor to filthy rich. He represents all geographic areas in America, from urban sophisticate to rural redneck, deep South to mountain West, left Coast to Eastern Seaboard.

The rest of the article...

http://www.aspentimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/artikkel?Dato=20080209&Kategori=ASPENWEEKLY06&Lopenr=198091324&Ref=AR&template=printart

Progressives

This election season, everyone is talking about change. We have to change the way things are done. You have to have hope...and change. There is no great detail about what the changes are. Just a promise to change seems to be virtue enough.

It reminds me of going to Disney World. The princesses sing "you have to belive." All your dreams come true if you only believe. Tinkerbell flys over, the fireworks go off and everyone goes nuts. My quesiton is, believe in what?

The current candidates seem to be very Disneyesque. You just have to believe in change.

WHAT?

I usually do not identify myself as a "progressive," because I do not agree with much of the change that "progressives" spout. However, it has occured to me that we all want progress. We all want change for the better (not just a change). If being a progressive is wanting to progress towards a better way, then maybe I am a progressive too.

However, it is sometimes necessary to make a u-turn if you want to make progress.

You missed your turn 10 miles back. What are you going to do? Keep heading down the interstate at 85 mph? Probably. You aren't going anywhere, but you are getting there fast. You are making "progress." It feels good. Lets change drivers. That feels even better! That place you wanted to get to seems less appealing now that you are MOOOOVING down the highway baby.

The problem is, that you aren't going anywhere. There is just a lot of activity and a lot of energy being expended.

Our country, our churches, our society is heading down a path. Where is that path taking us? Is it taking us to a place that we want to go? Did we miss our turn 10 miles back?

I think we did.

I think that we need to turn back. We need to get on a path that leads to the place we all want to go. Our country has a constitution that is not a living and breathing document. Judges are making interpretations that our founding fathers never intended. Our government has seized powers that are not granted by the constitution. Our tax system is unethical and unconstitutional.

Our churches have relinquished their moral authority in our society. The blood and the cross are hardly mentioned. People are not repenting because there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Our schools (and colleges) are becoming social engineering laboratories rather than institutions of learning.

As a conservative that believes in God, the Bible, and the US Constitution, I think that this country needs to make a u-turn back to the old time Religion. We need to make a u-turn back to the government that our founding fathers envisioned. We need to make a u-turn back to an education system that educates rather than indoctorinates.

Only by making a u-turn can we make the progress that we all want. A bright future for our children's children depends on us. The new progressives.

Evelyn is Recovering Well

Evelyn told me last night that she is "back to normal." That is good because we have some sort of lesson or practice nearly every day starting this week.

It was nice to take a sabbatical from all things outside the home for a few months. I think the kids enjoyed it too.

Homeschooling

Since I am the only one that ever reads this blog, here is a link that will help me next time someone asks me about homeschooling.

The Bitter Homeschooler