The Boss

Mommy is busy at work preparing the next meal. Chloe jumps up on a stool near Mommy and says, "Mommy, I want to help you!." Mommy smiles and starts to give instruction, but she is interrupted by a glass pounding on the counter and the demand of her little cherub, "now give me some orange juice!"

We all have to be very careful with this little angel. She is so cute and smiley. Her requests are so innocent at first. You feel like a bad person if you don't comply. The three year old is hungry. Can't she have an apple? Of course she can. The three year old is thirsty, can't she have a glass of water? Of course. She "accidentally" spills water on her pretty outfit (that she didn't want to wear)... can she go change?

She is a born leader - the kind of leader that has all her minions in her orbit doing her bidding. It starts with a simple request, but then you find yourself being drawn into her complex game of spider and fly. Then... she strikes. Suddenly its YOUR idea to go get the outfit that she wanted to wear all along. And as if to rub her victory in your nose ... you get to help her change into it ("I can't button it," she says). She runs away laughing that infectious laugh. She is very good. We have to be very careful to funnel these skills into a positive direction. Otherwise she will have 6 Marchman minions all doing her bidding very soon.

Resistance is futile - you can't say no to her. But you must. I think that the key is not making eye contact.

Memorial Day

On Memorial Day, I always get choked up while telling the kids about the men that died to make us free. We talk about the Revolutionary War, the World Wars, and other recent wars. I cry every Memorial Day when I hang my flag. I can't even finish my tribute most Memorial days without blubbering like a baby. The tears flow out of a grateful heart for those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. My heart aches for the families that never saw their loved one again.

Today we did something unusual. We visited a Confederate Cemetery. Not everyone buried at this Tyrone, GA cemetery was a confederate soldier, but every soldier's grave was marked with the battle flag of the Confederacy. The cemetery was not quite neglected, but it was one of those almost forgotten places where the grass is a little long, and many of the tombstones are so old that you can hardly read the engravings. Many of the markers are leaning or cracked with age.

As we browsed through the markers we found that some of the soldiers were killed in action (KIA) while others made it home and lived long lives. All of them are heroes.

Just the fact that someone would be honoring these soldiers 150 or so years after their death was very touching to me. Someone has a list of names. Every year, the people on this list are memorialized with a little flag. These people are not in any history book and most accomplished no great standing in life. They just defended their families in a cause for freedom and their families are still honoring them 150 years later. To me, that makes them a hero.

I challenged the kids today to live their lives in such a way that their families would still be honoring them 150 years after they died. I challenged myself also. One hundred and fifty years later... will they remember?

Jonathan (10) found a tombstone that had been knocked down and broken into three pieces. He gently and very respectfully put the chunky base back in its place. Then he very meticulously placed the other two pieces on top of the first piece. I lost it. I think I managed to squeak out through my lumpy throat and watery eyes, "that was very respectful, Jonathan."

We stopped at the cemetery out of curiosity on our way to somewhere else. I was surprised at how moving of an experience it turned out to be.

Will anyone remember me or consider me as hero 150 years from now? I know that every Daddy is a hero to his children. But to his children's children's children? Now that is something to aspire to.

Are the Confederate soldiers heroes? Some people may not consider the soldiers in a losing cause to be heroes, but they are.

They are heroes because they defended their families and loved ones against an invading army. Many of them did not even know what they were fighting for. They just knew an army was invading their land and frightening their wives and children. They fought to protect the ones they loved most.

The ones that did know what they were fighting for are heroes too. They were fighting to preserve their way of life. They were fighting against a central government that was over-reaching its power. They understood that a government that governs least governs best. They were fighting for the right to govern themselves at the state and local level. No one in Washington DC has the right to tell us how to live our lives, raise our families, educate our children, worship our God, or run our business. The Civil War (or War of Northern Aggression) was not about slavery - except as it was a state's rights issue (the states should have the power to decide without interference from the Federal government) . Eighty percent of southerners did not even own slaves. It was a non-issue to most.

The situation was very similar to that in Revolutionary War times where a far away government was trying to dictate its will on a people without giving them a fair representation. But even if there was fair representation, the far away government was over extending its powers by trying to take powers reserved for the States (or the local governments) as their own.

The far away government succeeded and we are a weaker nation because of it. The level of government interference in the average American's life today is unprecedented in history.

The Confederate soldiers are heroes. Anyone who has fought to limit the powers of the Federal government is a hero of mine.

We honor their memory today.

Good War

Ok..so I haven't posted in a while. I have been blogging, but not "publishing." The stuff on Esther sounds so much like a UFO conspiracy theory ... I just can't put it out there yet.

Things are going well for our family. Jonathan is having is 10th birthday this week. Its hard to believe. We have a wonderful family of 9 staying with us this weekend so we have a ready made birthday party!

We played capture the flag - actually it was capture the shoe (we were hiding an old flip flop). The (10) kids had armor, swords, sticks, nerf guns, sling shots, and various other weapons. The rules were very complicated and often disputed. The criteria for injuries versus death versus having to go to prison were dizzying. After one especially grueling match (the last one of the day), Jonathan and I had just battled with our pvc pipes to the death (I died) while my team ran away with the flag.... the agony of defeat was heavy on Jonathan's face. After he caught his breath .... the way he smiled through his exhaustion and said "that was a good war, Dad" ... really touched me.

That's male bonding in a nutshell. You beat each other to a pulp... you get mad, get bloody, you scream and growl and say awful things in the heat of the battle... but then when its over... you leave the battle field arm in arm with the ties that bind a little bit stronger....

Girls don't get that.

God gets it.

That's why he tells wives to respect their husbands. Thats what we crave...more than love, faithfulness, clean laundry, or a home cooked meal. We want our wives to go "WOW... he is awesome."

Thats what the battle field bonding is about... earning our mutual respect - its what we live for. To hear those words.... "good war, buddy."